Babysitter's Wrath
by E.R. Burke
Summary: The morbid young daughter of two killers is dumped on the Black Order when she's found to have Innocence. And who better to look after an uncooperative kid than Kanda? Plenty of people, but the samurai has no choice in the matter. Allenx?
1. You've Been Drafted!

**This idea sprung into my head over the course of the day, and I liked it. We'll see how well the first two or three chapters go before I continue, however. Enjoy. Read. Review. I don't own D. Gray-Man.**

**First chapter, I admit, starts out a little bit on the dry side. It will get better though.  
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**Baby-sitting**

She sat patiently in the large chair, swinging her petite legs back and forth, new gray shoes shining as they hit the candle light with every to-and-fro movement. Both hands stayed neatly at the child's side. Each of her palms was dirty and bruised and a little bit bloody in places. But, if they hurt, she did not show she was bothered. She simply sat there, quiet as she could make herself, staring out into the room she was placed in. It was vast, bright, and warm; in almost every way a change of pace from her normal whereabouts. Of course, this didn't mean she was enjoying the setting. The annoying little ruffles on her dress caught for the fourth time on the tip of her shoe. With a small arm, she reached down and undid the tangle.

From outside the doorway, a great many very frustrated and concerned people observed her. Head Officer Komui, hair unkempt, as he'd been awakened about the matter in a hurry and therefore had no time to fix it or put on his hat, cleared his throat and walked into the room. The small child looked at him with a pair of huge, gorgeous eyes. "Hey there sweetie," he spoke softly. "You're Amber, right?"

She just looked blankly at him. Nothing showed in her face.

"... Was there somebody who told you to come here?"

Her head tossed the other way, and Komui was left facing her hair, which was no more or less responsive. The man shook his head with displeasure, and returned to the curious group standing behind the door. The Science Department wasn't having any luck.

"She seems a little fussy, doesn't she?"

"Anti-social would be a better term."

"Hey now, she's only a little kid."

"So? What's you're point? That attitude is awful. I don't care why she came here, she has to _leave_. The Order doesn't have time to keep their eyes on children!"

"Hey, have a heart! Maybe she'll talk to somebody else?"

Reever shook his head, not quite agreeing with the pessimistic men, but coming close. "All of us, and a few Finders, have tried to reason with the kid. She just doesn't like us."

For half of the day, people had been going in and out of the room, and so far, not one of them had gotten a second remark out of little Amber. They knew her name only because it was mentioned in the piece of paper she insisted on carting around until she gave it to Reever, and she only did such after he identified himself as a Black Order loyalist. She was a strange one, to be sure.

"Now, now," Komui waggled his finger. "Maybe there is some other reason. I can remember Lenalee acting similar when she got upset after her first mission, right?"

Johnny gingerly put a finger to his chin. "Maybe we should ask Lenalee to talk to Amber. After all, she's better with kids than most of us."

"Excellent idea!!" Komui, pleased with any course of action to draw his sister nearer, jogged off to find her. The Science Department watched him go, but as soon as he rounded the corner, their focus was again on the young girl who had showed up at their door without known reason or cause. Her hair, blacker than night, swayed with the rhythm of her feet.

"Maybe she doesn't speak English?"

"I don't think that's it. How would she have known how to get here if she couldn't get directions from anybody? She's only a kid."

"Maybe an Akuma dropped her off."

"Quit! Geez, she is only one little kid!"

Amber narrowed her eyes. She didn't like them much, this much she knew already. It was clear she'd be treated very much like a baby for as long as she stayed. But, when they weren't staring at her, measuring her with their eyes, she'd sneak glances at their faces. All of them looked funny. It was nice to see imperfect faces again. She was especially fond of watching the younger man with the huge, scratched up glasses.

But she wasn't going to talk to any of them, no matter how friendly they looked.

First, because friendly was bad.

Second, because she'd been specifically told that she needed to see "exorcists", not "friends of exorcists".

It was then in her train of thought that another person came in. It was a girl this time. She was smiling with tenderness and she came over, the man with glasses shut the door behind her. They looked similar. Amber guessed that this must be his sister that she'd heard about.

"Hello there, Amber," she spoke kindly as she approached. "That's your name, right?"

The child looked at what the older girl wore. The uniform was different, more official. "Are you an exorcist?"

Lenalee blinked, surprised. "Why, yes I am."

Amber nodded, her tiny body sliding clumsily off of the chair. "Good, because I need to talk to an exorcist." Her arms groped around inside of a tattered old canvass bag, crudely sewn together like a potato sack. Out she pulled a white envelope. "A Mister Cross told me to come here and talk to you."

--00—00—00—00—00—00—00—00--

"Come on Kanda!! This is very important! You can even think about it as a mission!"

"Baby-sitting is **not** a mission. It's a chore and I don't have time for it." The samurai was relaxing for the first time since he returned from is last mission. Kanda was slouching in a rather comfortable chair, and had no intention to move whatsoever. "Besides that, what makes you think that of all people, _I_ would get along with a kid?"

"I think that little Amber would feel more comfortable around somebody with... well, malice!" Komui tried to reason with him, and had thus far gotten less than nowhere.

"I doubt it. Lavi's good with kids. Make him do it. Or how about the Beansprout? He's childish enough as it is, so he's sure to get along with the little brat."

"Kanda, I'm not kidding. You're really one of the only people in this world who'd be able to handle this little girl."

"... Komui, that was pathetic, even coming from you."

The Head Officer sighed. "I know you hate kids... and most people in general... but as a superior, I'm ordering you to watch after her."

"You're kidding?!"

"No, I am not!"

"Why the hell do I have to?!"

"Kanda, she doesn't like to be around any of us because we're too nice. She even said so. You're the least friendly person I have on staff. It's a job you were born to have!"

"What the hell kind of retarded child wants an _unfriendly_ caretaker?"

"One who's parents were arrested for the slaughter of ten people," he stated bluntly.

"... Che... She must be a real moron."

The Chinese man, unable to really say anything further because that would spark further argument, and he'd end up losing eventually, led the unhappy Kanda to the room where Amber was.

She'd been moved up to a bedroom on the top floor where people were taking shifts "entertaining" her. It seemed, however, that she was plenty happy to find her own activities. Lavi, who was reading as Komui went off to convince Yu to help out, looked down at the girl. When he glanced to where she had been, he found that she'd moved. And, without him even noticing, she'd plopped down next to him and was staring at his long-winded and extremely dry history-book-of-the-day. "Um, I can find you something more interesting to read," he began as he watched her. Her eyes moved in a scanning movement. Either she was reading these things that even he barely comprehended, or she was very good at acting.

"No, that's okay." Her voice was a pitch to match her body. It wasn't really squeaky, and it wasn't nearly as high as some of the other little girls Lavi had heard in his years of travel, but it certainly was a raised pitch.

"Really, this 'History of Slavery in the Americas' isn't something most girls your age read."

"Well, they're missing out on some very interesting things."

"... How's that?" He was a bit flabbergasted; not only because she _was_ reading it, and she thought it was interesting, but also because she properly used the word 'interesting'.

"Well, think about it! If all of the girls my age knew the awful origins of this inhumanity, when they grow up they wouldn't have to hesitate before getting involved in stopping it! Knowledge of this kind could make the world a better place, if the world weren't already filled with morons."

"... Amber, how old are you?"

"I'm eight."

"You... you talk like you're a lot older than _eight_."

"Yeah, lots of people tell me that."

The Bookman rubbed his forehead, still watching her check over the literature. He was starting to think there wasn't an ounce of childhood left in her veins.

"What happened to your eye?" Never mind. Asking questions about things most people would try not to comment about; the true sign of childhood.

Lavi inquisitively pointed at the eye patch. "This? I got shot in the eye when I was little."

"... Ouch..."

"Yeah, that's right." He patted her on the head and flipped the pages in the book. Right then, the door swung open and two more men entered the room. The first Amber saw was Komui, that spazzy guy with the coffee addiction. She knew because he was still holding that silly pink mug with the bunny on it, and it smelled like coffee. Very strong coffee, actually. The second one she'd never seen. He was very tall, and thin. His structure was really quite twig-like. At his side was a Katana, a very handsome weapon to be sure, and she supposed he was an exorcist too, as his uniform had the same colors as the other two that had visited. But, with his height and leanness, and that long, very well-managed hair, it was difficult to tell what gender he was upon first glance.

The voice gave it away.

It came as a simple "che" and was more than enough make Amber pick her head up and stare at him. He didn't act so disgustingly kind upon first sight as everybody else she'd come across that day. The first preference was met.

"Alight, Amber, this is Kanda. He's going to taking care of you for a while, alright?"

"..."

"Good then! Well, I'm off. Come on Lavi, let's let them get acquainted!"

Lavi was slow to react. He thought Yu was awesome, of course, but wasn't dumb enough to believe letting him stay alone in the same room as an eight-year-old was a good idea. He feared there would be a lot of carnage.

Kanda stared at the lithe little creature, the door being slammed shut behind his back. She was puny, hardly fit to be an exorcist at all. So why had that moron Cross told her to come? And what was Komui's big deal with her anyway? There was no way she'd be a threat. She wasn't old enough to be some kind of spy, and surely wasn't smart enough either. Further more, he detested children, and he didn't know how long it would be before people realized this. He had better things to do than sit around playing "Mister Mom".

Amber tuned around, perhaps having lost interest in the new visitor, and began fumbling around with a pile of toys that had been delivered. Komui, the genius he was, thought maybe she'd enjoy them. Actually, it was Lenalee who had suggested it, as all of the toys she'd crammed into her closet gave her nightmares to gaze upon. Even Kanda had to admit, they were eerie- broken and hollow. Either way, Amber was just a normal little girl who probably loved dolls, and toys, and sweets and things of that nature. It was even more reason for him to hate the girl. Her very existence stood for everything he was against. But, she was small, and eventually would end up running to the Moyashi when she found out that he was evil and feared he'd collect her head when she slept.

There was a "thunk" sound. Kanda raised his eyebrows. He couldn't quite see what she was doing, so he stepped closer.

The scene was very... very disturbing. He couldn't help it. Kanda opened his mouth. "What are you doing?"

"Decapitating dolls."

"... Why?"

She stared up at him, looking a tad disgusted and mostly shaming towards the question. "I need a reason to hate _dolls_ now too?" At that, she grabbed another doll, whose hair was all ripped out and eyes rolled around in its head, and brought down a hard elbow on its neck. The head snapped off, flew a few good feet before hitting the dresser, and then rolled next to Kanda's feet where it sat staring at him. She examined a cloth doll of equal appeal and hummed in thought. "Can't break this one," she mumbled. "I'll have to hang it out the window instead."

Jesus, this little kid had some issues.


	2. Bargaining

**Yeah, here's the second part. Still not sure I'm going to stick with it. One more chapter before I get to that. ^_^**

**Enjoy. Review. Whatever you want to do. Flame me, and I'll just laugh at it, so I wouldn't even bother if I were you.**

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Allen rubbed the back of his head as he stared down at the clipboard resting across his lap. The paper, overloaded with ongoing drabble and dribble of no apparent use, was giving him a headache. It was worse yet that _he_ had been the one to write it. And, the day one can't understand what one wrote all on his own, about his own strong, personal, nearly-sacred thoughts, was the day Allen decided he really shouldn't even bother anymore. He shouldn't bother to write these things. He shouldn't put these ideas on paper, regardless of how powerful and sure he was.

Besides that, if anybody read what he was writing, it would devastate him; haunt him until his dying breath. That was the last thing he wanted. He wanted that even less than he wanted to suck at writing personal papers. He grabbed up the note, crumpled it in his fist and tossed it out the window of the train. Normally, he was against littering, but this was a special case. As no fireplace was near, the wilderness was just going to have to do.

He rested his chin on his hand and stared at the world outside of the glass. His paper floated out through the wind, out of sight and worry. It was caught somewhere in the line of trees that blotted out the horizon, stealing away the last of the golden sunlight that peaked up to watch the world. The shadows enveloped them. Allen pitied anybody who got lost in the thickness of the brush. The pinks and oranges of the sky above ebbed away into the blue of nighttime.

The exorcist's eyes dropped to examine his own reflection against the window. He was almost disgusted with himself. The reflection bared its teeth at Allen, scowling darkly. "You're such a coward," it pressed. And then it wiped a few strands of silvery-white hair from its brow and scoffed. "And crazy too! Now you're talking to yourself!"

The boy slapped his mirror-self, leaving a horrible hand-print on the glass. But, at the least, he'd have no more interruptions from his subconscious. God knows that the Finders standing outside of his cabin already thought he was crazy enough.

So, Allen sat back in his seat and stared at the ceiling, wishing the train ride would just hurry up and end so he'd no longer be left alone with his thoughts. Of course, as it was just going to throw him back in the midst of the problem, near the person who was responsible to the torture known as contemplation, it was of little comfort.

Heck, after this long self-debate on a six-hour train ride, he believed he might just not be able to bring himself to be in the same room as, well, _that person_.

"... I really need to get some sleep," he reminded himself.

--

Amber, her eyes seeking something that she wasn't finding, paced the length of the surveillance room again. All kinds of little golems were fluttering around the Order, and their video signals were working fine. All of the recordings were present. But, it seemed that Amber was watching something or somebody.

Kanda rolled his eyes. The kid was livable, at least. She didn't say a whole lot, and when she did, it never really was directed at the exorcist. But, the child was always a little edgy. Why the hell would a kid want to check the perimeters of ANYTHING, let alone a highly guarded organization's Headquarters?

Amber was thinking deeply as examining the videos. "_Fences: no gaps. Walls: no openings. Gate: well guarded. Entrance: guarded even better than the gate. No second way in. No second way out. Ah, wait... Windows... Yes, it's best to stay away from large windows._"

"You finished yet?" Kanda snapped impatiently. "I don't have time to watch you stare at these dumb things."

The girl turned around, expression annoyed, like she'd rather he hadn't spoken. "Then go. I don't need to be babysat."

Kanda would have _loved_ to do that. He really would. Unfortunately, if Komui caught him sneaking around without the brat, there would be trouble, not to mention a lot of joint-missions with the freaking Moyashi. God, he hated that guy. He was just a whiny little brat, and even the silent Amber was a preference to Allen.

"Can't. Hurry up, and let's go before-"

"_Hey Kanda!!_" A little black golem buzzed around Yu's head, and the samurai's good mood was diminished to naught.

"The HELL do you want _now_ Komui?!"

"_Ahaha!_" The man laughed happily through the radio. "_We need you to bring little Amber down here real quick. Oh! And, you've got a mission!_"

"Dammit," he mumbled, motioning for the kid to get moving.

"_Chop, chop Kanda!!_" The connection severed.

"Oh, I'll chop something alright," he grumbled. "You're damned head... right off of your shoulders."

--

They sat the little girl down in a chair, and she just stayed there. She didn't move a muscle. She didn't look up to watch the people around her. She didn't remove her small hands from her sides. Everything about her was statue-still.

"... How long is she going to do that?" Komui walked around her in a circle, and she took absolutely no notice at all.

"The hell am I supposed to know? I only met the brat today!" Kanda crossed his arms. Komui was stalling. He had yet to brief him on the mission, interests only for that kid. What made her so special? It didn't even look like she had Innocence, let alone could control it!

"Now, now! Kanda, you should watch your mouth around children. They're more sensitive than you are!"

"Sensitive, huh?" Kanda flicked Amber on the back of the head, and none too gently. She had absolutely no reaction, like she didn't even notice. "Yeah, really _sensitive_, this one. She's about as vulnerable as a rock."

Komui shrugged and cleared his throat, ducking down to get a look into the girl's eyes. They didn't show anything. It was like as soon as she sat down, she was in a trance. "Amber, honey, how much do you know about your Innocence?"

"..."

"Ah, well Cross did say in the letter that the kids acted odd in interrogation areas."

The exorcist rolled his eyes. "You've _got_ to be kidding me. You're going about this all wrong."

"Hm? Well, what do you suggest?"

"Yell at her."

"... What?! WHY?"

"Because she doesn't do well with _nice_. Watch." He went up to her, leering madly at the little thing whose head barely reached his waist. "Hey, Brat, **STAND UP**!" Like a dog, being ordered to do silly tricks, she slid out of the chair and stood, head still towards the ground. "See? That's how you deal with kids."

"... Kanda, have you ever _been_ a child?"

"What the fuck kind of question is that?!"

"Never mind." The Head Officer shook his head. "Ask her about Innocence."

The tall boy scowled. "Brat! Innocence, let's see it, **NOW**."

She looked at Kanda and made an awful, pout-face. "I don't want to."

A vein popped on the man's head. "... What was that?!"

"I don't want to activate my Innocence! I don't like to."

Kanda smacked himself in the face, tying and failing to calm his self. "Does it look like I give a damn what you do and don't want to do?! Activate your freaking Innocence so I can go on my damned mission and get out of here!!"

"... No."

"NO?!"

She crossed her arms and turned her back to the man. Kanda reached for Mugen, and the only thing between a very small and uncooperative child and a very outraged Kanda was Komui. "Now, now you two! Let's get along!"

"Yeah... _sure_... **IF SHE SHUTS THE HELL UP AND JUST USES HER FUCKING INNOCNCE!!!**" Komui slapped Kanda.

"Watch your mouth Kanda!"

He ground his teeth together, never taking his eyes off of the pipsqueak. Oh, she was going to get it now. The samurai was in head-hunting mode. "Brat. Innocence. **NOW.**"

Amber hissed in her words. "Make me."

Kanda unsheathed Mugen. He didn't care if she was eight, twenty-five, or ninety-six, that kid was going down.

Komui intervened one last time in a desperate attempt to keep a head from rolling. "Amber, why exactly don't you like your Innocence?"

"Oh, I like it fine." She turned and looked at them, arms still crossed and nose held high. "But I don't like other people looking at it."

"And why's that?" In the background, a random Kumorin was trying to coax Kanda into lowering his blade. Its armor got a nice big dent, right in the chest. Kanda had a fist of iron, to be sure.

"People always... well, they stare, they call me a freak, they throw things at me," she began. She lowered her arms, using her fingers to count out actions of the supposedly average person. "They try to kill me, they call the police, they scream, they cry, and a few have vomited, and one of them wet his pants... so I don't show it anymore. Not if I can help it."

Komui smiled. "Aw, now, now! We won't do any of those things." He shot a quick glance at the still very-peeved Kanda. "Well, Kanda _might_ scream, but that's just because he's grumpy."

"What did you just say?!"

"Wha- NOTHING!! NOTHING! Oh dear God Kanda! No! No, Mugen can go away now... ehehe..."

Amber audibly whined. The action that needed to come wasn't something she was enthusiastic about. "Fine, but I'll only do it on one condition."

"And what might that be?" Komui's eyes lit up. He could smell the victory.

"I don't want to be the only person in the room who looks like a freak. You two need to, I don't know, wear dresses or freaky masks or something."

"... You're kidding, right?"

"Nope. If you really don't think it's scary, this will be the only time. But there's no way I'm just going to_ trust_ you."

Komui looked over at the girl's forced-to caretaker. "Well Kanda, she drives a hard bargain."

"... I'm not wearing a dress."

"I didn't figure you would." Komui smiled and went off in search of some masks, or maybe one mask and Lenalee's spare uniform? Nah, whatever was most convenient.

When left alone, Kanda glared at the small fry. He wanted to kill her by just glaring a hole through her skull.

"What are you looking at, Twiggy?!"

'_TWIGGY?!_' Oh, this child was dead.


	3. Battle of the Egos

**This is the last trial chapter. WHOOT! I really enjoy writing this. Amber is my favorite character I've ever made for this me know what you think!! Oh, and a quick warning. Kanda starts getting a bit mouthy in this, so those with can't stand swearing, it might be a good time to run away...  
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"Very well Amber, we both look like complete idiots now." Komui looked defeated. He only found one mask, as feared. And Kanda took it, because there was no way he'd be forced into the horrible, cherry-pink, overly frilled dress that Komui was suffering with. Amber, who was feeling pretty good, decided Komui was now "Miss Bo-peep" and Kanda was not only 'Twiggy', but now 'Zorro'.

"You can say that again," Kanda muttered hatefully.

"So, how about we take a look at your Innocence now?"

The little girl raised one eyebrow, got a good, long look at the two of them, and nodded. She inhaled, almost like she was more afraid to take the plunge than to just look silly.

But, just when Kanda was about to decide to leave and head out on his mission without the stupid briefing, a pair of long, claw-like appendages, one on either of her sides, shot out from behind Amber. No, not claws, pincers, stingers. They were attached to her body by two long, metallic strands, the ends hiding behind her dress, which he only now noticed was sliced to let the anti-Akuma weapon loose. Both of the weapon's sides moved about freely, gravity holding nothing against whatever weight they might have had.

Amber had a pair of what looked like scorpion tails just growing out of her.

"Ah! So you're a Parasite-type! How interesting!" Komui approached, trying hard not to trip over the dress, and grabbed one of the stingers. Amber watched him with unease. "Amazing... Hevlaska is going to find this interesting when you visit her, that's for certain. No damage to the weapon at all?"

She shook her head, and her black hair brushed around he sides of her face.

"Good, you've been taking good care of it. Good. You can control both tails?"

"Yes sir."

"Oh! Well, that's an interesting change in attitude." But, Komui found that she actually looked more like she was sad than in a better mood. "Oh, now don't worry too much about it." He coughed some dirt out of his throat. "Can I take off this dress now?"

"Please do. Pink really isn't a good color for you."

"Thank God," Kanda said as he tossed the mask across the room. He succeeded in knocking over an entire stack of paperwork.

Amber, who just really started to notice, imagined she could swim in the ocean of unfinished papers. She could get lost in them. Or, if it was cold, she could build a very nice fire. It was something to keep in mind.

"Now! The two of you are going here," Komui said as he simultaneously pulled off the dress, pulled down the map, and pointed to a little dot on the map with his right foot. It was some little village, unlabeled even, that bordered the ocean.

"... Wait, what the hell do you mean 'you two'?!" Kanda showed on his face that he was very vexed.

"Yes Kanda, that's right. Amber is going too. We can't afford for her to be running around without somebody watching her anyways. And I'm sure she'll make a wonderful partner!"

"Like hell she will!"

"Kanda! Mouth! Amber, you shouldn't repeat the things he says, remember that."

The girl rolled her eyes. They were almost as dark as her hair. "Believe me, there's nothing he can say that I haven't already heard."

Komui waggled his finger. "Either way, it is not good to repeat them, right?"

"Oh my GOD! Shut up and give the damn briefing!!"

"Very well," Komui said, suddenly quite serious. "There have been many Akuma attacks in this little town over here. They're after something in the area, that's for sure. We actually don't know anything about it yet besides the soaring Akuma numbers, and that a few local families have reported five attacks, and eight kidnappings. And, several murders as well." Komui watched Amber's face. She seemed like she was oblivious to just how severe Akuma attacks were. After all, Cross mentioned that she'd shown no sign of knowing about Akuma. Perhaps it would be too gruesome for such a young child?

"Damn," Kanda hissed. "You aren't even going to give me any information to use. _Thanks_."

"It's the best that could be done. This is getting to be a problem. It needs to be taken care of now." He tossed the mission folder to Kanda, who caught it in one hand without effort. "No Finders will be accompanying you this time either. We have a suspicion there's a level 3, and it would be too dangerous for them."

The boy rolled his eyes and looked appalled with the matter. "Whatever. I'm out of here." He walked out of the office, and Amber had to scamper to keep up with him. Komui waved to them.

"Good luck!!"

--

'Trains,' thought Amber. 'There's a lot of trains here. And a lot of people. I need to watch out; make sure nobody is a threat. Stick close to the exorcist.' She moved in closer to Kanda, barely escaping the rush of the crowd. They might well have trampled her without notice if she wasn't so attentive. Kanda didn't seem to mind in the least that she was jostled around. If she couldn't handle a little group of people, she wasn't fit to be an exorcist. Not that she was anyway. The child was scrawny and she was pathetically, hopelessly disturbed.

"Bakanda!"

"God dammit." The samurai turned around and came face-to-face with none other than Allen. "What the hell do you want you baka moyashi?!"

He frowned and stared at Kanda with contempt. "Komui called and asked me to go on the mission with you. Said something about some extra help for... somebody?"

"Che. I don't need _your_ help, so scram." Yu walked ahead, Amber, unnoticed, trying hard not to tumble when Allen angrily stamped past her, decided to follow the white-haired boy with the exorcist uniform, as his head was an easier one to identify. Had he gotten into a fight in a bleach factory? Hard to say. But, the look was a good one for him.

"Dammit Bakanda! I'm not leaving just because you're throwing another one of your tantrums!"

"Whatever, Sprout. You get to watch the brat then."

"The... the what?"

The eldest grumbled. "That damn annoying little girl you idiot. I don't have the time to babysit her sorry, insane ass." He waved at the lithe little girl who'd just managed to catch up and board the train a second before. She seemed annoyed and out-of-element in the busy world around her. Allen stared at her for a minute.

"This is her?"

"No, it's an elf. OF COURSE IT IS YOU MORON!!" He shook his head at the stupidity of Allen Walker and sat himself down in the cabin of the train, not caring in the least if the two of them followed (though he silently prayed they wouldn't).

Amber scuttled to the seat across from her caretaker, hopping up with a bit of effort, and dropping her backpack, filled with God-knows-what, on the ground below. The third wisely sat next to the kid. He closed the door behind him and stared at her.

"Hi," he said, putting out a hand. "I'm Allen Walker."

She took it and shook it as best she could for her size. "Amber Hexes."

"H-Hexes?" He was suddenly very unnerved by her. He knew what the word 'hexes' meant, sure. But it was the fact that it was her last name that worried him.

She furled her brow and stared at him. "Oh. You're one of _those_ types, are you?"

"What _types_?"

She sighed and stopped looking at him, facing the window. "Alright then. Who'd my parents kill that you know? Whoever it was, I'll tell you now, I'm not old enough to claim responsibility for it."

"What?! No! No, I've got nothing to do with the trials! I just didn't know that they... you... um... er."

"Didn't know I existed? That a couple of creeps like them could raise a child?"

'_She putting words in my mouth... and they're the right words too.... CRAP_!'

She made a "hmph" sound when he said nothing, and Allen started looking stupid. "Well, whatever then."

The train started to leave the station. Amber had stolen the window seat, and was taking full advantage of it. Kanda hogged his side of himself, as he was feeling very unsociable, and flipped through the mission's abnormally short description again. Allen did nothing. He couldn't see outside because of his angle. He couldn't talk to either of the two around him, as neither enjoyed him being there at the time. Nor did they like being around one another, it seemed.

It was going to be a very long ride.

--

Kanda still wasn't going to give up the useless report, even if it was probably just to drive Allen insane. After the first hour, he was sure Amber would at least be bored, but she seemed pretty fine.

Allen was about to lose his mind.

An hour and a half of being glared at by Kanda at every open interval, ignored by the child, and not entertained by anything at all, he was starting to lose it.

Without warning, the girl sighed. "How much longer is this ride going to take?"

"About and hour," Kanda growled at her. "Shut up and go to sleep or something."

"I think not," she cringed. She then made a very steely leer into the eyes of Yu Kanda. Allen was starting to get worried this kid wouldn't make it through the day. Kanda glowered and looked back at her with similar intensity.

"The hell is your problem?!"

"My problem? You're the one who's been a jackass since moment one. You have some kind of mental problem that keeps you from being livable, or what?"

"Shut up, shrimp! You must have a death wish to be messing with me."

"Yeah? Well, I hate to break this to you Twiggy, but you're not much wiser in being such an asshole to everybody you meet!"

"Is that so?!?" Kanda stood up, hand going to Mugen. Allen jumped back, tying to get out of the way. The little girl wouldn't budge.

"Damn right it is."

"Guess what twerp. It's over for you!" Mugen was unsheathed and racing around her neck, staggering at the train went across uneven sections of land.

Allen spoke up. "Alright, I think this has gone a little too far."

"Shut up Sprout."

"I agree Allen. Stay out of this."

The light-haired boy felt a vein twitching on his head. "I think somebody's getting a _little_ cranky. Maybe you should take a nap now?"

Amber smirked. "Yes Kanda, by all means, please go take a nap."

"... That's not what I meant..."

Kanda raised Mugen a bit, right over the still unmoved child's head. "Brat, you're going to get yours now!!"

Amber stuck out her tongue in defiance and activated her own Anti-Akuma weapon. The two tails slithered out from behind her and wriggled around by her face. Allen backed away even more. This was beginning to get violent.

Before things could escalate any farther, the train stopped and all three lurched forward and were bashed against the side of the cabin. "What the fuck was that?!" Kanda rubbed his head and stood in the now wrongly balanced compartment.

"Maybe we hit something," Allen said, Innocence active now. "Or_ something_ stopped us."

"Well, I think that's a pretty safe bet," she added sarcastically, pointing out the window.

The glass shattered and the train flipped again, trapping the three exorcists. The door, and the right-half of the train collapsed, and the window was now crawling with hundreds of little spider-creatures.

"SHIT!"

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**Okay peoples, it's up to you I guess. Is this cheeky, disturbed little girl a worthy character to survive the train? Or will everybody just be forgotten out in the middle of nowhere and be eternally arguing? REVIEW AND TELL ME THE OUTCOME!!!**

**The fate of the world rests in your hands.**

**(Work with me here and just _pretend_ it's an epic problem.)  
**


	4. A Delightful Walk

**Man, it looks like I finally actually got the time to make this chapter. Thank Hoshino for D. Gray-Man (which belongs to her), and God for Spring Break (which belongs to God... but I've stolen it). ENJOY!**

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**4**

"What are these things?!" Kanda stomped on another insect, hearing it squeal in agony as its slimy green guts flew out across the closed compartment.

"WHO CARES?!" Allen used his hand to bash as many at once as he could. "We need to get out of here before a bigger Akuma comes!!"

The dark child took little to no notice of the bugs, instead searching the window as a possible exit. But, as it was pouring with a ton of little Akuma-lackeys, it seemed like an unwise choice. Her two tails flicked by her sides as she sunk into thought and planning. She looked over. Kanda wielded his blade with aggravation shining in his eyes. With a mighty slash, he brought Mugen down on what was once the train's floor. It bounced back with an awful clang.

"Shit! They were expecting us! We can't get out!"

Amber was already on the case. With the serrated-edge of her stingers, she hastily sawed through the back wall. It fell apart without too much effort, a hole just big enough for all of them to squeeze out of. "Come on! Unless you two _want_ to become Akuma-chow!!" They didn't need to be told twice. Allen was the first to scramble into the next room. The little girl was already working on their next passage. Kanda, however, hesitated.

People tend to do that when a really big-ass half-spider, half-robot-human-android-thing blows a larger hole over your head and crawls down into your busted-up train cabin with the intention of biting your head off. The samurai raised his weapon, the only thing there to block an onslaught from a pair of giant-sized mandibles. The Akuma had a spider body, and two heads; one of the corresponding demon, and one mostly-human head on top of the much larger counterpart. A "three" in Roman Numerals was clearly engraved on its chest.

So _this_ was the one Komui was freaked about? Hm, it seemed pretty average to Kanda, who was plenty happy to slice through its head.

"**Die! Wretched Human!!!**" The Akuma took another swing at Kanda, who treated the bite like it had come from a mere mosquito, swatting it crudely aside. What he didn't notice was that one of its spear-tipped legs was coming from behind at that same second.

Splash! The whole area was covered in disgusting green ooze, coating even the exorcists. The Akuma howled in pain and hatred, its leg cleaved off and squirming on its own on the floor, attempting to find its way home fruitlessly. Kanda whipped around, and found the tyke was shaking some of the substance from her hair and anti-Akuma weapon.

"Let's go Twiggy! I don't have time to watch your sorry ass!!" She sped off, reaching the end of her pathway, and in turn, the outside. Allen was already out there somewhere.

Kanda, not coming up with a retort fast enough, was getting pissed off. Not at the Akuma. He couldn't give a damn less about the Akuma. No, what concerned him was that stupid kid. She ran around like she knew what being an exorcist was like, what it meant. And then she still had the cockiness to address her superior so rudely?! No. No damn way. She would get hers, one way or the other.

The oldest of the group slid on the railway gravel as he jumped out. A few minor Akuma were lying in huge, exploding heaps, thanks to the Moyashi. The kid was gone. Probably got eaten. Oh well. And that spider-creature was barreling at him for another battle.

It succeeded in nothing more than knocking Kanda back a few centimeters. The foolish thing was blinded by rage, maneuvering to perform no more than head-on attacks. It was easy-kill for somebody who could outmatch almost anybody else at close range. He sliced its bottom head right in half, and it toppled over.

"**GYYYYAAAAAA?!? What is this?! AN EXORCIST?!**" Without warning, its mood changed. She was suddenly very... amused. "**Is that all? Hah! It figures.**" The human head was still functioning fully. With its remaining seven limbs, the monstrosity staggered up. "**Very well then.**" She scooted back, perhaps retreating, or perhaps getting a better position.

However, before this movement could be completed, the little brat reappeared. She leap-frogged over the spider demon and simultaneously drove both of her pincers deep into the monster's metal flesh. In a puff of smoke and a small, showy explosion, the thing melted away.

Amber stumbled onto her feet and dusted off her arms with a vexed expression. "Stupid Akuma, always getting in my way." Kanda raised his eyebrow as he listened to her muttering. "Pain in the butt, that's what they are."

He couldn't resist the urge anymore. He was just _so_ sick of that idiotic little child playing "big fish". For the love of GOD!! She was only eight-years-old! Kanda walked up menacingly, his shadow a looming chill over her pale, tiny body. Amber looked up and pursed her lips. The samurai then slapped her on the back of the head. Yes indeed, he hit a child.

Amber grabbed her head and stared at him with incredulous anger. "What the hell was that for?!"

"YOU'RE TOO DAMN FULL OF YOURSELF YOU STUPID BRAT!!!" He tossed his arm out and pointed at the horde of lesser-Akuma that was streaming in their direction. "Get your puny ass over there and do your fucking job, or get lost and die. Your choice," he hissed. "If you're going to be an exorcist, you can't complain and bitch about every assignment you get. Now move!" Kanda himself rushed off, Mugen clasped tight in his hands.

The child leered for a second more before standing to her full size (which wasn't much) and facing the oncoming threat. Her fist faded away and Amber Hexes, for the first time in a very long time, got this feeling trapped in the corner of her mind. It tasted like iron, but it was soft and still sturdy.

The title of "Twiggy" needed to be replaced with something more respectful, that much she knew...

--

The landscape fell to ruin; a field of ash and dust all that remained of the Akuma and train. The tracks had miraculously remained regardless of the damage they'd taken from multiple explosions.

Kanda and Allen lagged behind a surprisingly spry eight-year-old girl. Even with her weighty pack, which now had one broken strap, she was quick and capable. The experienced exorcists, however, were not fairing as lively. Both were tired from the fight, the likes of which the child had participated in with great enthusiasm and _still_ managed to have strength for walking. Allen was hungry, and therefore in a foul mood and slowly walking along. Kanda was just simply in a bad mood because his two companions continued to exist.

Amber let the other two catch up to her. They'd been forced to follow her through a very tiny clearing through the wilderness. Her face, though just as dreary and displeased as ever it had been, showed a smidge of confusion.

"Exactly how far away is this town supposed to be?" She tilted her head to one side as she awaited reply.

"..." Allen, realizing that he himself had not the answer, gazed at Kanda.

The Japanese boy grew more and more angered by the millisecond. Was it bad enough he was trapped in the middle of nowhere with two snot-nosed brats and no map? Apparently not, because now he was in the middle of nowhere with two snot-nosed brats, no map, and a good twenty miles of endless walking looming overhead. Not that he actually knew what direction the town was in to begin with. "Che," was his only given response. He stepped ahead of the two younger people.

"... I take it that means we have a very long way to go?"

Allen began to mope. His arms fell sadly to his sides and he listened to his stomach gurgle again. As hard as he looked, he couldn't find any sign of civilization. There was nowhere he could go to just get something to eat. It was bad enough he'd been in so much of a rush as to skip lunch, but it seemed that dinner was going to be held off as well.

His eyes unexpectedly fell upon Amber's mystery bag. What did she keep in there? Knives? Cash? Or maybe... food?

"Hey... Amber?" Allen told himself that the request was completely stupid and foolish. In fact, had he not been so hungry, he'd have thought anybody to ask something of an eight-year-old to be uselessly irresponsible.

The girl stopped and her long hair floated around until Allen saw her staring at him from under some untrimmed bangs. "Hm?"

"Do you... do you have anything to eat?"

Kanda, having heard that, imagined himself slapping Walker very hard. Could the guy get any more pathetic? He was an annoying moron wih so little dignity as to ask a child for nourishment. Baka.

"Yep," Amber told him bluntly, and then she got walking again. The child didn't stop to further the conversation.

Allen frowned. "Can I have something?" The white-haired boy could imagine her glaring at him through the back of her own head. He didn't need to do this, however, because Kanda turned around to do just that.

The Hexes girl cleared her throat.

"Oh! May I _please_ have something to eat, Amber-san?"

"... What is with you and formalities?" she muttered as she quickly removed her backpack and fumbled around with it. "Could have just said _please_ and been done with it." She tossed a couple of packaged energy-bars at Allen, who caught them quickly and had a broadened smile. "How about you, Kanda? You actually eat, don't you?"

The eldest gritted his teeth and kept walking without any real reply to Amber. And then he realized she'd called him "Kanda", and not "Twiggy". What was up with that?

Allen, after the first bar was devoured, answered for him. "No, Kanda only eats Soba. Nothing else."

"... Why?"

"Maybe he's allergic to life."

"Shut the hell up Moyashi."

Allen shrugged and kept walking. He whispered to Amber so the target would not hear. "I'm just saying, it wouldn't kill him to try something new for once."

"Hey, I'm just relieved to know he actually knows _how_ to eat." At this remark , Allen looked up at Kanda. He _was_ pretty thin.

The girl made a loud sigh and got moving again. Kanda didn't pay attention to either of them after a good five minutes, and the ongoing silence was shattered without hesitation.

"This is boring," Miss Hexes declared.

Kanda now imagined himself decapitating both of them. He might have done it. Unfortunately, the punishment from Komui wasn't worth it. "What the hell do you want _me_ to do about it?"

"Nothing, you're lame. Allen!"

"Eh, yes?"

"Name one thing you hate about each of us. GO!"

"Wha-WHAT?!"

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**It's like a competition to see who is going to kill Allen first! DUN DUN DUN...**

**Review? Maybe? PLEEAASE?  
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	5. What I Hate About Yu

**... It's another update... And there's not much to be said here... I don't own D. Gray-Man... Uh... Yeah.**

**Thanks to those that reviewed. And other things. I suppose?  
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Allen looked terrified. He knew full well that Kanda was listening, and he couldn't participate because of that. And, if he didn't there was no telling what Amber might do. She seemed to get a bit... pushy and... no, she was just downright violent. She'd probably throw a tantrum to top it all off. But, which one was worse?

"Hurry up Walker! You're silence isn't making the trip and more interesting!"

"W-Well, right now I hate that you're making me do this!!" He waved his arms around in useless attempt to swat away the oncoming madness.

"Great. Now Kanda."

"... Um..." Allen hesitated. He knew Kanda was listening now. He knew he was probably going to get killed either way. "Kanda, I hate how you're always so inconsiderate of other people's feelings!"

"I hate how you _give a shit_ about other people's feelings." Kanda rolled his eyes. This was pointless. He already knew that he hated everything about Allen, and that was the bottom line.

"You have to say something about me too, Kanda."

"I hate that you're still breathing."

"Ah, I see. My turn! Allen! I hate how you're never assertive, no matter how rude either one of us it to you."

"... Oh..."

"And Kanda... Um, well, I really hate how you slapped me back when we were fighting Akuma. It was demeaning."

Allen's ears twitched at this. "Kanda! You hit a child?!"

"Yeah. So fucking what? She deserved it."

"You could have done something better than that! Omigod Kanda! You could get in a lot of trouble for that!"

"Yeah, I'm going to have him arrested for Child Abuse," Amber groaned. "By the way Allen, it's your turn."

"Kanda, I hate that you hit Amber, because that's stupid and irresponsible! You're a horrible person!"

"..." Amber stared at the boy with disdain.

"Oh Amber... I hate that you didn't hit Kanda back...?"

"Moyashi, I hate that you're such a prick who gets into my business and tries to tell me what I should and shouldn't do! BACK OFF! Or you can just die." Kanda was, at that point in time, carrying Mugen unsheathed. He was clearly not in a mood to be kidding around. "And Pipsqueak, I hate how you started that whole argument. Go die in a ditch and leave me that hell alone already!"

Amber smiled. Yes, she completely smiled! But, it was actually closer related to a Noah's grin-of-insanity than to actual happiness. "Allen, I hate that neither one of us has really done anything about this whole Kanda situation yet. Kanda, I hate that you aren't even trying at least fulfill your basic responsibilities in making sure I don't get killed on my first mission... You know what?"

"What?"

"New rule. Two-on-one. Allen, you're teaming up with me against Kanda."

Allen felt his mind tearing itself apart. Both of them were going to get killed by the end of the day. There was no avoiding it.

So, he might as well enjoy the time he had left.

"Kanda," Amber started. "You're way too skinny. Are you _sure_ you've ever eaten before?"

Kanda growled a little. Mugen begged its master to just slide through the munchkin's skull and end the suffering. "Brat, you're so infinitely small I can hardly see you. Did somebody keep you in a matchbox when you were born?"

"Bakanda, if you can't see Amber, you really should get you eyes checked. Then again, you're probably blind anyway."

"And how is that, Baka Moyashi?!" His fingers were itching Mugen. The desire to slaughter was climbing to a breaking point. Almost regardless of what either one said next, Kanda planned to kill them both.

"We've been walking in circles for the last ten minutes."

Kanda looked out at the clearing. Sure enough, there was the train's carcass again. And there was where they'd started, just five meters away. "God dammit," he whispered to his self. Now he felt stupid. He didn't know how the sprout and the insect had managed to do it, but somehow they had.

Amber let out an exasperated sigh. "I wanted the trip to be interesting, not longer!" She was about to throw her hands up in their air to exaggerate just how sick of the day she was when she suddenly paused.

Kanda mumbled something to himself and walked away.

Meanwhile, the child was unusually silent. Allen, not thinking that she'd ever actually shut up, looked over at her. Something wasn't quite right about her. Her eyes were enlarged, and her hands were shaking, held in an unusual position in the air. A bead of sweat hung off of one of her long locks of black hair.

"Amber, are you all right?"

"...Muh..."

"... 'Muh'?" He raised an eyebrow and continued studying her. The kids seemed like she was alright. Well, other than the fact she was having a complete conniption. Amber's mouth was pulled into a horribly desperate smile, which seemed painful, as her eyes followed along the shape of her arm.

On her sleeve was the tiniest, saddest looking little **moth** the world had ever known. This only served to further puzzle the exorcist. "Amber... are you afraid of that _moth_?"

She only gulped and continued to stare wide-eyes at the innocent creature. Allen tapped her on the shoulder a few times, but it didn't yield a reaction of any kind.

Amber was paralyzed with fright. But why, Allen could not say.

The eldest exorcist stared around in dismay. He was sure they hadn't made any hard turns. Of course, with the little brat leading their way most of the walk, anything was possible. The sun was very nearly set, and the moon was already rising on the opposite horizon.

"Amber? _Amber_? Are you all right?" Moyashi snapped his fingers in the girl's face a few times. She didn't even blink. "Um, hey Kanda?!"

"What the hell do you want?!"

"I think something's wrong with Amber."

"Why the hell is it _my_ problem?"

Allen could feel his brow furling angrily. "Kanda, you're supposed to be watching out for her! Would it really kill you to just come see what's wrong with her?!"

"Moyashi, if you don't shut the fuck up and let me think, _you_ are going to be dead."

Seeing that the argument could not be won, Allen scowled and turned back to Miss Hexes. It seemed pretty likely that the moth was the cause of such strange behavior. "OK, look Amber. I'm going to take the moth off, really carefully, alright?" He grabbed the insect gingerly and then cupped it with both hands. As soon as it was off of her, Amber began breathing and her horrible face transformed to seem more shocked than insane. But, she was still in that same position, watching Allen's hands.

Walker approached a tree and released the being onto its bark, where it sat happily. He'd not taken but three steps when something wrapped tightly around his legs and threatened to trip him.

"WAH!! Am-Amber!" She was clinging to him, and there was no clear intention to let go showing anywhere on her.

Kanda rolled his eyes and at last looked upon the disappointing scene. Allen was wobbling around like some kind of drunken fool, and the child had basically chained herself to him. "What the hell are you two doing?"

"Uh, Kanda..." Allen cleared his throat and caught his balance. "I think Amber's just a little shaken up. But, she should be fine soon."

"As long as you and her get your asses moving, I really don't give a shit."

"Wha—"

"The Monkey is your issue now. Now let's get going before more Akuma show up and I have to deal with it while you two play 'Cherished Family Moments'."

No more lashings were given. Kanda, with the possible intent of leaving his two pests out in the night to die, started walking along side the train tracks, on route to the nearest town. Allen, with some effort, pried the petrified kid off of his legs and carried her piggy-back style. Her arms, luckily, were quite small, and from the position Allen held her, she couldn't quite choke him to death.

--

"Stop fucking looking at me that way Moyashi!" Kanda glared at Allen, who'd been giving him "the look" for the last solid hour of the walk.

"You can't just force her to go with me." Allen would never have spoken up if Amber wasn't already deeply asleep. She wasn't half as unbearable when she was snoozing.

"Watch me."

Allen walked up even closer to his teammate, making sure he wouldn't just take off and abandon him in the middle of nowhere. "Look, maybe you shouldn't look at it as having to baby-sit her! I mean, I really don't think that would be necessary! She's pretty well-off as far as kids go. So, she doesn't need—"

"Get to the point, Moyashi."

"Well, this could be a good opportunity for you to tutor her and guide her. Like... Like a role-model, kind of..." He was regretting his choice of words. The last thing the world needed was a second Yu Kanda.

But the samurai thought hard about this, much to Allen's dismay. He couldn't care less if the kid liked him, but if he could get her to bite her tongue and leave him the hell alone on command, he'd be satisfied. Suddenly, the thought of having a trained monkey around had an appeal.

--

"Ow! God dammit! OW! What was THAT one for?!" Amber rubbed the back of her head again. The repeated slaps were sure to end in brain damage or just a serious headache if she was lucky.

Kanda made his characteristic "che" before turning back to the pages of the atlas he'd managed to buy from some of the locals. "The first one is because you're an arrogant little twit. The second was for disrespecting your acting caretaker."

Amber gritted her teeth. She knew Allen and Kanda had been awake long after she'd passed out. How else had she managed to get to the hotel in the middle of the wilderness? No, they'd done something, this was for sure. Otherwise, she'd never have been put in the position where she needed to consider investing in an iron hat.

Kanda actually started noticing when she said something about him, and it was swiftly punished. She'd been swatted fifteen times in the last two hours alone, and he'd managed to hear every muffled insult and swear word that floated out of her little mouth. Somehow, this was turning out to be a little different than how she'd imagined things were going to go.

"... OUCH!" She grabbed her head again and glared at her feet, knowing from experience that if she looked at Kanda that way he'd just hit her again. "What the heck did I do _that_ time?" It sounded whinier than the last several times had been.

"..." His eyes narrowed in on the target. Amber could feel her probability of her surviving drop by the heartbeat.

"Geh! I mean... What did I do that time, _sir_?"

This guy was a nightmare.

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**Well... review it? Maybe?**


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